...and that's how the fight started..

[wvumaryjane]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the
fight started....



I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told
her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold
cream....... And that's how the fight started.



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was
very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The
woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed
my So cial Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my
wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said,
'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'...... And that's how the fight started.....



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone
at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I
sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'...... And that's how the fight started.....



I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how
sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over
to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I
looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'.......
And that's how the fight started.....




I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He
said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for
herself.'...... And that's how the fight started.....

[smurph]

My wife asked me "Do these pants make my ass look big?" When I said "The pants have nothing to do with it."............That's when the fight started.

I told my wife her Mother is a very bizarre person. She said "last week you told me that I'm just like my Mother." When I nodded.....That's when the fight started.